Celebrating Brotherhood: Osakpamwan Imasogie on Friendship, Fatherhood, and the Male Experience

This edition explores the friendships and connections that men build as they navigate life’s ups and downs—and how these relationships ultimately shape who they become. Our Copy Editor, ‘Deoye Falade, had a laid-back chat with the CEO of Avon HMO, Osakpamwan Imasogie, where he shared stories and insights about the importance of these bonds. They covered everything from the value of brotherhood to the challenges of keeping friendships strong, shedding light on the ways these connections change men, both at work and in their personal lives.
Enjoy!

D for HH People: So, this edition is about men, but it also about brotherhood and friendship. So, my first question would be as a man, how would you define “brotherhood” beyond just friendship?
O: For me, brotherhood here goes beyond being a blood relative. It means having a community of people, close friends, people you can hangout out with, that you trust. And they can be from different communities too. They can be old secondary school friends or may even be current work colleagues or people from church or any religious association you belong to. Typically, you’ll find out that there are pockets of brotherhoods that are not completely connected, like a situation where your secondary school brotherhood is different from your universities’. It really is just a community of male friends where you share the same ideologies and trust one another.

D for HH People: Are there any regular “guy rituals” or traditions you keep up with? (Poker nights, sports games, camping trips, etc.) Give us an insight into the kind of activities that you enjoy with friends and that you set aside time for.
O: First for me is sports. I’m not a gym rat but I like to workout regularly, almost every other day. Usually depends on when I close from work, but somehow, I still find time for it. I like to play football too. I played in secondary school but not in university. But even earlier in my career, when I worked in banking for 13 years, I used to play in the Banker’s Games. I also like to travel. I’ve been to quite a few countries, maybe eight, and of course I would like to go to even more.

D for HH People: What’s the one adventure you’ve been on with friends that you’ll never forget?
O: Interesting. Hmm. Can I remember any? I’ll say when my secondary school class celebrated our 25th anniversary post-graduation. It was a gathering of people I had not seeing for several years. Of course, people came from far and wide, so it was sort of a reunion. That happened about 3 or 4 years ago. For me, that was quite an adventure, meeting up with friends you have not seen physically in the last 25 years, coming back together and walking around the whole school like we used to. That’s something I cannot forget in a hurry.

D for HH People: It wasn’t in Lagos, was it?
O: No, no, it was in my hometown. In Benin

D for HH People: So now, fatherhood. How has fatherhood and career life impacted your friendships and social circles? I don’t know if it’s common amongst men, but people in general, when they become parents, it can be difficult to stay in touch especially when the kids are still young.
O: I’m largely introverted, and I have three kids now. These days I like to think of them as my best friends. In terms of how it has impacted my social relationships, I can largely say, it has because I’m no longer the ‘free’ man as I used to be. Anytime I try to leave the house now, my last child is always like “Daddy, where are you going?” So, I feel more accountable, and sometimes she even wants to go with me. So, one way or another it has affected my social relationships. One thing I try to do is, try to find a balance where they can go out with me, and I am also connecting socially. I take them out on Saturday mornings to swim, and it’s also an opportunity for me to meet other people, parents and the likes. Also, when we go for parties. The way I like to see it is that my children have enhanced my social life more than it they have diminished it.

D for HH People: What role do your friends play in your life today compared to ten years ago? How much of a difference is there?
O: Ten years ago, I was largely engrossed in my work around that time, so the roles my friends played was quite insignificant. I didn’t really have time to socialise except for my work community. But in the last six years, I began to play more active roles in my communities. My friends from way back in secondary are my closest community, not even university. In the last six years, we’ve been very strong. When there are celebrations—naming, weddings—in fact, one of us remarried sometime in April this year, and we all showed up, because we know amongst ourselves that this is the time that we can be there for one another now that we are getting older. These are the people who you can say have been with you from way back. So, I can say my friends have been more active in my life now. I also connect with them on business, offering our services to them; a couple of them have given me business and likewise. That’s the transition that has happened in the last six years, unlike when I was starting out in the first ten years of my career.

D for HH People: If you were to look at some of your big moments—like marriage, promotion, or relocation—do you have any friends who were there for your big moments? Tell us about it.
O: Yea. For marriage, I had a friend (though he’s in Abuja right now), we started our work career on the same day. I started my career in my hometown, and he got transferred to Benin. He had not stayed in Benin before. When I got married, he was there for me, and till date we are very close. More than a friend, he is a confidant. We started our careers together in Benin and he would usually come around on Saturdays, because I was the only friend he had outside work in Benin.

D for HH People: You mentioned travelling and sports earlier. Some of us have a bucket list, like things we want to do or achieve while we are here. What’s the one adventure on your bucket list you haven’t tackled yet?
O: I want to travel to Japan and experience life in Japan. I’ve never been to Asia before. I understand the Japanese are very hardworking people and very excellent when it comes to service and reliability. It is interesting but I would really like to experience the Japanese way of life.

D for HH People: Final question. What’s one piece of advice you’d give your younger self about friends or friendships?
O: Seek first to be a trustworthy friend and then you’ll be trusted. For me If you don’t have trust then you don’t have a relationship. As individuals, we should try to be trustworthy. For me that is the key to friendship.