- This is something we generally don’t ask adults but that’s how I would like to start. Do you daydream?
Is the Pope still Catholic? Of course, I daydream😊
I do so sometimes, and for me it fosters creativity.
I think it’s a non-intrusive way of helping me realise my goals, and reveal my innermost hopes, desires and even fears.
Ever heard of the saying by the great Ellen Eugenia Johnson Sirleaf, former president of Liberia who said, “If your dreams don’t scare you, then it’s not big enough…”. So yes, I daydream, and I dare to act on those dreams, because if it is to be, then it is up to me. This is another memorable quote by William H. Johnsen, an American painter (1901-1970).
- Have you ever been called ‘delusional’ or unrealistic in your career or personal life? How did you react?
I have been referenced as both ‘delusional’ or unrealistic in both my personal and professional life…and guess what, that is usually a hint, that I just may be unto something real big.
…so, I am going to give you two quick stories about how I went about achieving some “unrealistic” goals and how they turned out.
Story No1: The Birth of Sasha
The year was 2010, I was this skinny struggling 29-year-old “baby-lawyer” who had been called to the Nigeria Bar 4 years prior and who came across this car” by Honda (It was the Honda Accord Crosstour!), call it what you want, that car to me was a Bently or even a Porshe! Goodness me, through my 29-year-old lenses, it was the sleekest machine I had ever seen, and I had to have it. There was just one tiny problem – My Salary!!! I didn’t earn peanuts, I earned “oxygen”, because I never saw the money. For those of you who worked in law firms, you know what I mean. Anyway, my mind was made, I wanted this car! So, I set out to draw-up a whole spreadsheet sheet, backing out a little something for savings (heaven forbid you have an emergency) and then cancelling ever single “nice-to-have”. This was going to be tough, but I needed to have a great deal of dilutional to pull this off!
Over the next 34 months, I figured that if I limited my meals to N70 a day and didn’t eat out, or buy any new cloths , or have DSTV, or make my hair in any fancy saloon or polished my nails myself, or take taxis (we had no uber back then, just the yellow buses), I could actually raise the money I needed to buy this car! So off I went with my plan, laser focused as a pin-hole-camera. And boy! Was it not easy. But guess what! I did buy the car in 2013. Brought her in from Baltimore pre-owned by 10 months and I still have that car till today. I named her” Sasha” (please don’t ask why 😊) and she brings me to work!
Story No 2: Working for TOE
The year was 2013, I was 7 years at the Nigerian Bar (by now you get the drift that I am a lawyer by training), with Company Secretarial and Corporate Governance being by area of specialisation. Doing the same thing repeatedly especially for Corporate Governance work was easily have the boredom of routine creep in. I loved what I did, and I wanted to give it the life I knew the Company Secretarial “Calling” deserved, so I introduced into my work some additional layers of preparedness for every Board Chairman on every Company’s Board where I served as Co-Sec. Let’s call it “the meeting before THE MEETING”. I meet with my chairpersons and prep them ahead of each Board Meeting, we controlled the tone of these meetings, we were fire.
Fast forward 5 months into the year, I had been advised by Management of one of such Companies that a new Chairperson was to be appointed and his first meeting would be on 28th August 2013. The new Chairperson was “Chairman” the venue of the meeting was Southern Sun. I had no access to him prior to that meeting, but after that meeting, I was determined to run-by-him my thoughts on how we could optimise the Board. When I returned to work that day, I ran my thoughts through a couple of colleagues, and I was met with such push back!
“You can’t do that TK”
“He is a Mogul…”
“I doubt he would be interested in what you have to say”
“…You are only 7 years post call TK, what do you really know”.
These discouraging statements made me even more determined. I had seen the positive impact of this level or coordination between a company secretary and a chairperson! The world was our oyster, and I was damn well going to get the best of this Board to support my new Chairperson. So off I went sending him an email on my thoughts on how to run the Board! If not out of anything, I really think Chairman agreed to see me out of curiosity and he allowed he just express myself in my authenticity. He quietly observed me and interestingly gave me the freehand to do me, with a lot of guidance from him of course. Two years later, I was employed in Heirs Holdings as the Subsidiary Governance Officer of the Group and that was how my HH journey started. I have never looked back since.
- Being optimistic in the face of so many challenges can come across as not facing reality, but I’d like to think that it can be beneficial sometimes. How has this helped you in life?
Don’t be afraid to fail. You can’t, and you shouldn’t be afraid to fail. Embracing the possibility of failure is as important as treating “Failure” as your least favourite option. This notwithstanding, give every task your best short as though it has a chance of making the Guinness Book of Records. I call this , the “Can do Spirit”…so when all is said and done, you know you gave it your best shot!.
- Can you provide an example of a time when believing in an unrealistic goal helped you achieve it?
My-o-My…. Me and my many stories 😊. Of course I can.
Well for me, it was an unrealistic goal at the time, but I’d be dammed not to give it my best short.
…it all started with a “Daydream” …yes, we are back to this daydream of a thing…. I was 27, I had just bought this car right (remember it, the Honda CrossTour)…do you remember how much sacrifice I also had to make to get Sasha? Now I was on to my next project on my cockroach salary – A HOUSE!!! and not any house o, I wanted a 4-bedroom duplex with a pool and a gym! I had seen a couple of houses like that in some property magazine called “Castle”. Why couldn’t that be my next project …loll…At this time I was no longer earning oxygen as salary, I had started earning peanuts, but that was never going to deter me. Can anything really deter me 😊. Besides I already had precedence, after all I was able to buy a car, so what’s in a house! The car took me almost 3 years to achieve, the house, 7 years!!! I had to bring in the big guns! I sincerely believe that if frugality was a person, it would be me. Changing jobs and working in the HH Group helped, my income got better, oh much better, but for everyone who had tried to purchase a house with my kind of financial reality, I gave up everything. Those free office lunches though, thank goodness for those. Covid helped too…lol…I had a legitimate reason not to travel, hand out, or engage in all social activities. I was the embodiment of social distancing …loll…
2021 came and I moved into my house. It was everything I wanted it to be…all because I dared to daydream in 2013.
- Do you think there’s a fine line between being delusional and being imaginative?
Sure I believe so…Imaginations are packed with a great decree of delusions…if not, then it’s nothing but a risk free solid plan that can be achieved by just anyone…and trust me, it cant!
- Now, let’s talk relationships. Have you ever had unrealistic expectations of someone, be it a significant other, friend or family member? How did it influence that relationship and how did you navigate such situations? Also, what were the lessons learned and how do they influence you today?
Let’s talk about a significant other, that makes for a good read. Besides what’s the point of interviewing for HH People if can’t be juicy 😊
True Story: Very nice chap, beard gang, muscular arms, 6 feet. He was my university sweetheart. We started dating early in Uni, and I had it all planned out…” once I am done with law school, daughter of Zion was going to get married”. What did I know! What “sense” did I have. The poor chap had barely discovered himself as human not to talk of me converting his entire being into a whole husband!!! Naturally he rebelled and I told myself to be “more perfect” so he would see the sense in “settling down”!!! of course none of that happened and we parted ways (please don’t ask who broke up with who). Naturally my small heart broke and it mended back eventually and well… here I am today, right?
But how did it influence my relationships going forward and lessons learnt
- You cannot truly control other people. Maybe influence people, but surely not control them.
- It is ok to close old chapters and be open to embracing new ones
- Not everything in life will go your way…actually, most things in life will likely not go your way and that’s ok
- Always get up when you are down. While there is absolutely nothing wrong with falling, there is everything wrong with staying down. Get up, dust your shoulder and keep it moving
- Let’s talk a bit about money. In what ways has an ‘optimistic’ financial goal motivated you to achieve more?”
My response to this question lies in all my plenty stories above. As you can see, I can self-motivate for Africa 😊…”I dream it, I chase it”
- Have you ever taken a financial risk that others considered weird but paid off?
Yup…I think my house is a good example for this.
- Can you share a story where imagining your ideal self helped you make significant changes in your life?
I do this every time…In fact, I have another dream I am pursuing right now. When I achieve it, I would definitely love to share it with my HH Tribe. But yes, with every aspiration I have, I have had to make the necessary adjustments in life to achieve them all with the exception of none.
- What advice would you give to someone who displays a lot of ambition and optimism but is afraid of being too unrealistic?
Don’t be afraid. What is the worst that can happen! You lose right? Is that enough to rob you of a dream? I don’t think it is o. So, like Nike, “JUST DO IT”
