Source: Rococo.ng
Intro: We are in the content creation and targeted marketing era, so it didn’t surprise me when my Instagram feed slowly became flooded with picture-perfect destinations and mouthwatering dishes. One day, I stumbled upon a reel that left me intrigued and craving a unique dining experience. It was a restaurant called Rococo in Victoria Island. I quickly shared it with my friends, and we decided to go there over the weekend. Join me as I recap what can only be described as a disappointing experience.
1. Name of Restaurant: Rococo Restaurant, Lounge & Club.
2. Location: 1C Ozumba Mbadiwe Ave, Victoria Island.
3. Experience: At this point, I should tell you that my friends have banned me from making restaurant suggestions. When we arrived at the restaurant, we realized Rococo was the place formerly known as Zorya.
To make matters worse, we were told valet parking wasn’t optional. You either paid the N3,000 or figured out where to park outside the compound.
Some of us gave in and paid while others did the hard work of parking on the road and trekking down. It wasn’t about the money, but the principle of the thing. When we got in, they had these girls at the entrance in feathered gowns and to be honest I’m still a bit confused about the vibe they are trying to achieve.
While the décor gave Bridgerton, the staff gave low-budget Great Gatsby. We were entertained by opera singers who all shared the same jewellery when it was their turn to perform. Please don’t ask how I clocked it, I notice weird things like that.
The food was basic, the drinks were overly priced, and there were questionable-looking people there for somewhere claiming to be “luxurious”. Honestly, once you take pictures of the aesthetically pleasing décor, there’s nothing left to do but wallow in the realisation that you’ve spent all that money on a mediocre experience.
4. Parking: By force valet parking for N3,000.
5. Menu: Here’s my favourite page from the menu because why are you charging N40,000 for a burger? You can check out the full menu here.
6. Extra advantage: There’s literally no advantage coming to this place. If any, it would have to be that it is a very Instagrammable restaurant.
7. Why?: As I said earlier, we’re in the content creation era, so if you’re looking to capture aesthetically pleasing content, it will definitely deliver.
8. Damage?: In total, approximately N180,000. For context, we were 5 people so that’s roughly N36,000 each.
9. What meal(s)/drink(s) would you recommend?: I’m not recommending anything. I had the Aristocrat aka Chili Lamb Ragu – a slow-cooked lamb, and coconut ragu served with steamed rice. When the plate came out it looked so wide, I was already hyped about their portions, but once I dipped my spoon inside, I realised the plate was wide but not deep. I had been bamboozled. While it tasted okay, it was definitely not worth N25,000.
For drinks, I ordered a Tequila Jungle Bird Which was pretty decent while my friend ordered an old-fashioned which was literally a shot of whiskey with ice and comically came in a Martini glass both cost N10,000. Another friend ordered the Skales of Love cocktail and let me tell you, that was the biggest waste of money of the night. It cost N14,000 the same amount their mates are charging us for unlimited cocktails, and they had the audacity to bring what can only be compared to the quantity of a tequila shot.
I remember my friend looking at the menu and saying “This better be the last supper.” Another thanked God Hans & Rene was a walking distance because there was no way we were ordering dessert there.
What would I recommend? You’re on your own tbh.
Tequila Jungle Bird – N10,000 Chili Lamb Ragu – N25,000
10. Rate the service: 4.0/5, the service was good. I guess they must compensate for their overpriced food.
11. Verdict? Would you recommend this place?: If I don’t like you, yes.
12. Any additional information about this place you’d like to share?: For some weird reason the place was 97% women. 50% of whom had ring lights attached to their phones. I told you earlier, very Instagrammable. I counted only 3 men in total, and they were all frowning. I guess we know why.
