I find it incredibly refreshing to pour out my thoughts in ways that could be easily understood. Trust me when I say that I deeply appreciate this exceptional privilege. The questions lined up for this edition are undoubtedly sensitive which demands deep reflection and factual responses considering that younger individuals are among the readers. So, we have a responsibility to strike a balance, ensuring that we do not discourage them by solely focusing on our struggles, while also avoiding the creation of misleading hype that sends incorrect messages.
Reflecting on the experience of independence, I have come to realise that life is a continual journey, transitioning from one stage to another. As we grow, there comes a point when we recognize that it is time to stand on our own, irrespective of our privileged backgrounds. Failing to grasp this crucial realization and process would result in mere ageing without personal growth. Particularly as a young girl, the prospect of independence was captivating. I wanted all the freedom to explore life on my teams, make friends and have loads of fun. So indeed, as I imagined it, I was almost in a hurry to be ‘Miss Independent” lol. I mean I used to see some of my aunties looking all flashy and seemed to be living their best life at the time, so it was enticing to become independent. Looking back now I can see that what I saw then was the presentation of adulthood and independence in a flash, but not the pressure and responsibility that forms the hurdles of life.
Is house rent your mate? Lol, run oh!! Just kidding. But paying rent is not fun.
About achieving financial independence: well, I must admit, I haven’t scratched the surface. However, let me clarify what financial independence truly entails. Firstly, it is not about living a life of leisure without putting in the necessary hard work rather it is a continuous process that requires careful planning and discipline. It involves managing one’s income, budgeting effectively, saving for the future, and making informed investment decisions. I am constantly learning and adapting to some financial strategies to ensure long-term stability. The concept of complete independence from work is a misconception. Instead, it involves building a system that ensures a regular and stable income. However, as economies evolve, sometimes in unfavourable ways, it becomes necessary to continually refine and adapt to the system you have created. This may also involve exploring additional investment opportunities to secure improved income. In essence, it’s a cyclical process. Another crucial truth to acknowledge is that life progresses through stages and classes. What may be comfortable for me could be the starting point for someone else who is striving to build a more robust income system. As for me, I consider my journey towards financial independence a work in progress. Nevertheless, when I reflect on how far I have come from where I started, it is undeniably a significant leap forward.
Yes, I am familiar with the concept of Black Tax, I sincerely wish there were alternative terminology for this concept. It is a truth I constantly remind myself of, that we are Africans, and our way of life still carries remnants of communal living, setting us apart from the Western world. We also uphold other values that make us unique. Growing up within a family, it is deeply rooted in us to be responsible and responsive to our loved ones. Unlike societies with robust social systems that provide support to their citizens which we lack here, such helps to alleviate the burden on those who have achieved relative success. So, yes, I have experienced the effects of black tax in various ways. However, we must also actively discourage an entitlement mentality amongst family members as it can strain what was once a thriving relationship. From my perspective maintaining balance is crucial, being subject to black tax should not be seen simply as a burden, but rather as an opportunity to demonstrate respect and responsibility.
Independence has taught me the value of adaptability, self-reliance, and resilience. It has shown me that I am capable of overcoming both the highs and lows of life, making tough decisions, and taking control of my life. There is a common misconception that as an adult and independent individual, one no longer requires encouragement and emotional support. However, I have learned over the years that humans cannot grow and thrive in isolation from the community. Therefore, being independent also entails building a network of individuals with whom we interact regularly. Above all, independence is not a fixed state but rather an ongoing process that we must either strive to achieve or actively pursue. So, learn to seek support and guidance when needed, as true independence does not mean going through life alone.
As for the life hacks I’ve discovered, over the years, I’ve found a few hacks that have helped me navigate adulthood. Firstly, prioritising self-care and maintaining a healthy work-life balance has been crucial. Learning to ask for help when necessary has also been beneficial. But life is a continuous learning process, and there is no one-size-fits-all formula for living. Each person must discover what works best for them. I realized early on that we were created to engage in useful and helpful activities. Therefore, I try to cultivate purposeful relationships that allow me to learn new things and acquire skill sets that enable me to solve life’s challenges. A life with a clear sense of purpose is crucial and segmenting that purpose into achievable goals is equally important. This helps me to identify the right connections and channels for my energy. One of the significant benefits of independence is the ability to learn quickly, as there is no one to rely on but oneself. Self-encouragement is also critical for me. Regardless of how daunting a task may seem, I strive to encourage myself, as this is the tool, I require to motivate myself daily.
For the future ahead, it is impossible to definitively predict what tomorrow may bring, so I strive to continue learning and growing, both personally and professionally, maintaining a positive outlook about the future and having faith that the Divine will bring these plans to fruition. I advise myself to give it my all at every point, take calculated risks, and actively contribute to the journey I am pursuing to reap the benefits.
As someone who doesn’t have children of my own yet, I can share some insight on how to approach the process of handling children becoming independent based on general principles and observations. Encourage your child/children to make decisions and take responsibility for their actions from an early age, maintain open communication, provide guidance, and support, and encourage self-discovery by allowing them to explore their interests, passions, and talents. Maintain a strong bond and learn to manage your own emotions. Remember that every child is unique and the process of becoming independent may vary for everyone.
Jess.
