Chidinma Emeli, a Business Owner at Africa Prudential, shares her unfiltered thoughts on the challenges and revelations of adulting.
Q1: How does it feel to be independent? (Especially of your parents)
Chidinma: Hmmm (insert heavy sigh, lol)… To be honest, it wasn’t entirely what I expected. I mean, I expected the freedom to sleep anytime I wanted without anyone sneaking into my room to scream “Turn off that phone and sleep!!” and the freedom to wake up at any time, especially during the weekends. I expected the freedom to go anywhere I wanted and come back anytime I wanted and to just be alone without any noise and basically just be in my own space. What I did not expect was the constant tiredness to do any of the above. Like at every opportunity, I just want to sleep, not talk to anyone, and definitely not go anywhere. I also didn’t expect the type of bills that came with being independent, and if you are a young adult living in Lagos, you will understand that the billing is on another level here. Overall, I will seize any opportunity to go back to my mother’s house ooo.. because I AM TIRED of independence!!! 😴😩
Q2: Have you hacked financial independence?
Chidinma: Well, I wouldn’t say I have completely hacked financial independence yet. However, I’ve made some really good financial decisions this year by having an investment portfolio, which I think everyone should really have. I believe this is a good start in gaining financial independence. I also intend to diversify my portfolio by investing in foreign equities/bonds, other commercial papers, and commodities. I do not have it all figured out yet, but we learn every day, and I am open to learning more from experts on being financially independent. 💰💡
Q3: Ever experienced Black Tax? Talk about it.
Chidinma: Lol…. It’s funny how I can now relate to this mandatory billing. Well, as a working-class young adult from a very humble background, I have definitely had my fair share of “black tax”. At some point, it was like I was working for people to enjoy my hard work. It can get very frustrating if not managed properly though. My hack is to do the one that I can and leave the rest to God. Everyone has been surviving without me, and they will definitely continue to survive after me. I usually include anyone that I have such obligations to in my budget, mostly my mum, and my 2 brothers. Any other person is a maybe or maybe not situation, depending on the number of commitments I have for the month and if I can afford to do away with some money from my expense budget. Before now, I used to feel bad when someone came to me for help, and I was unable to help because I had already made my budget. Sometimes, at the last minute, I’ll give up something I had already planned for myself just to help or please that person. I don’t do that anymore though. I’ve come to realise that I work too hard and so I too, deserve to spend my own money on me… because, last, last, everybody go dey alright. 💸🤷♀️
Q4: What has independence taught you?
Chidinma: Wow… one of the major things being independent has taught me is prioritisation. My background taught me contentment. I grew up knowing that anything I want, I can get, just not at once. And so, I do things in MY order of priority. It helps me focus on my now, what I can control, what I can do, and what I can afford in MY now. I don’t bother myself with things that I cannot afford, and in return, those things don’t bother me either. When I see something I love and I know I cannot afford, I simply put it in my “later basket” (it doesn’t have a date or timeline…. just later) because I know that I will eventually be able to afford it, just not now. I’ll give you an example. At the beginning of this year, I wanted to get something. As at the time I wanted to, I couldn’t afford to COMFORTABLY get it because there were other things, I needed to do with money that were more important. So, I put it in my “later basket” and focused on immediate pressing matters. Fast forward to 9 months later, I finally had enough money aside from my savings to get it. Could I afford it then? No. Can I afford it now? Yes, and I DID! I’ve also learned the importance of money because I work for every penny I spend. So now I appreciate it even better. 💡💰
Q5: Any life hacks?
Chidinma: Hmmm, let me see (inserts deep pondering, lol). I’ll share 2 with you. The first one is water. I drink a lot of water (nothing less than 2.5 litres every day) and I have an awesome relationship with “minding my business”. It’s almost like my talent. I do not involve myself in things that don’t involve me. The second one is something that I’ve shared earlier but I’ll still share it here because it has helped me a lot to navigate life, especially in this Lagos (insert mildly annoyed eye roll); where there seems to be very unnecessary pressure on young people. It’s something my aunt told me that I have held dear to my heart. She said, “Chidinma, you see all these things that you are so eager to have now, and it seems like punishment to you because we are not giving them to you, a time will come in your life when you will be able to afford these things x10 without breaking a sweat. Keep your head down and focus on what is more important now.” This basically sums up my view on what looks like pressure in our present society. I have enbibed these words to my soul so much so that it looks like I have a lot meanwhile, I’m just content with what I have. It will help you ooo. So better take this advice and thank me later.
P.S. When my aunt gave me that advice, she was actually talking about a phone. And yes, I can comfortably get myself a phone…. but maybe not x10 YET. 🚰🙅♀️
Q6: Any idea what the future holds?
Chidinma: Lol… abeg me that I’m trying to figure out what I’ll eat tomorrow morning first. The future is not my immediate problem biko. On a serious note, I know that I have a big bright future. I just do not have it all figured out yet. But I’m taking baby steps by making good decisions in my “now” that will transcend into my big bright future. So, like I said, no pressure… just baby steps. 👣🌟
Q7: How do your parents handle you becoming independent?
Chidinma: Lmaooooo! To be honest, I didn’t really give them a choice. I didn’t tell my mum I was moving to Lagos until the night of my departure. I knew she was going to go ballistic because in her words “How can a small girl like you leave to another city all alone without any family and then even live alone”… Luckily for me, she had travelled to the village during that period, so I just called her on the phone to break the news to her, and as expected, all hell broke loose. I simply avoided her calls for like 1 day (I know I know, I do too much… but parents do too much too nawwww). Any hooo… I finally agreed to take her call on the 2nd day, and she was a bit calmer. Then I told her where I was staying with someone and every detail of my journey from Ph to Lagos. In the end, she gave me her blessings and well… I guess she is used to it now too. 📞🚆😅
Chidinma Emeli’s candid and relatable insights into adulting shed light on the everyday challenges and triumphs of independence. Her journey serves as a testament to the importance of prioritisation, financial responsibility, and the power of staying focused on one’s goals, even in the face of life’s pressures. Chidinma reminds us that adulting is a process, and it’s perfectly okay to take baby steps on the path to a big, bright future.
Stay tuned for more inspiring stories from Africa Prudential and Heirs Holdings.
