In the age of rapidly evolving cultural norms, unspoken rules and codes of conduct within social circles have gained significant attention. My favourite code is the “Girl Code,” which promotes solidarity and respect among women. Although critics, often men – will question its underlying principles and potential implications, simplifying it to just “coming to you as a woman”.
The Girl Code is an unwritten set of guidelines that govern the behaviour and interactions between female friends, acquaintances, and even strangers. It encompasses a range of principles, including loyalty, honesty, support, and confidentiality.
Girl Code provides a sense of community and empowers women to navigate complex social situations while maintaining strong bonds with their female peers.
Why is Girl Code Important?
In a world that is often so unfair and judgmental towards women, Girl Code promotes an environment where women feel safe, supported, and understood. This emphasis on unity and empathy can empower women, challenging patriarchal norms and cultivating a sense of shared experience and camaraderie.
Girl code provides emotional support, confidentiality, and solidarity against misogyny, encouraging women to be there for one another during challenging times, respecting each other’s privacy, and acting as a shield against sexism and other gender-based discrimination.
A Few Examples of Girl Codes & The Reason for Their Existence
- Thou shall go to the bathroom together: Women feel more comfortable going to the bathroom with a friend or a group of friends, especially in unfamiliar or potentially unsafe environments. By sticking together, we can provide each other with a sense of security and support. Other times, we just need to speak with each other privately.
- Thou shall compliment other women: As women, we know that we rate compliments from other women more than compliments from men because they seem more genuine. Yes, even compliments from lesbians. Compliments from men typically have sexual undertones, even if unintended. Women may feel more comfortable receiving compliments from other women to avoid any potential misinterpretation or discomfort.
- Thou shall be the ultimate wing-woman: Women have similar perspectives. What your male friend would miss, your female friend would not. A woman will assess situations more critically and spot potential red flags.
- Thou shall guard the sacred secret vault: Couples tend to tell themselves everything, but there are some things that should be kept in the vault. Trust is paramount. When a fellow sister confides in you, revealing her innermost secrets or the embarrassing details of an unfortunate dilemma, you become the guardian of the sacred secret vault. It’s not everything you tell your man!
- Thou shall embrace sisterhood and support each other’s dreams: “The success of one woman should be an inspiration to another” – Serena Williams
It’s all about celebrating achievements, lending a helping hand when needed, and cheering each other on as we chase our dreams. Whether it’s starting a business, pursuing a new hobby, or conquering the world, the Girl Code reminds us that we’re stronger together. - Thou shall leave her man at home if it’s a girl’s night: We all have that one friend who thinks her man is an accessory. The way men need nights out with the boys is the same way women need to hang with the girls and just the girls. Don’t be that annoying girl who invites her man to every event.
- Thou shall not fornicate with another person’s man: Whether during or post-relationship. Do I even have to explain why?
The Girl Code vs. the Bro Code:
While the Girl Code and the Bro Code share similarities in their intent to establish unspoken rules among friends, there are notable differences between the two. The Bro Code tends to focus on principles such as loyalty to male friends over females, “bros before hoes”, and light-hearted camaraderie. However, the bro code inadvertently promotes the support of bad behaviours, such as a lack of accountability when your “bro” has done something bad like cheating, abuse, etc.
In contrast, the Girl Code is an unwritten bond that unites women across the globe and often emphasizes emotional support, confidentiality, and standing up against gender-based discrimination.
Unfortunately, not everyone wants to play by the code. For example, if I come to you as a woman, I expect you to do what’s best for you even if it hurts at that moment. For example, I once went to another woman as a woman to report her cheating boyfriend, she cried about the disrespect to me, but they didn’t break up. On another occasion, I witnessed a married man slide into another woman’s DM on Instagram. Said stranger sent a screenshot to the man’s wife. His wife confronted him but said she understands he has needs as a man… but I digress.
If you take anything from all of this, it should be to embrace the Girl Code. As women, we should laugh together, support one another, hold each other accountable, and continue to celebrate the incredible sisterhood that makes life just a little better.
