How has the ‘japa’ wave affected your friendships?
Whew! This should be a topic for another day.lol. I have really had a lot of friends serve me breakfast with the I am relocating line … However, thanks to technology we are still able to be intouch.
– Gloria Agugua from Heirs General Insurance
The “japa” wave has had a bittersweet impact on my friendships. Many of my close friends have made the decision to travel abroad in search of better opportunities, which has resulted in physical separation between us. It’s been challenging to adjust to the absence of their daily presence and the activities we used to enjoy together. However, despite the distance, we have made a conscious effort to maintain our friendships through regular communication, video calls, snapchat streaks and sharing our life experiences. While I miss their physical presence, witnessing their growth and success in their new endeavours brings me joy and pride. Our friendships have evolved to become more intentional, with each interaction becoming even more cherished. Additionally, their journeys abroad have inspired me to explore new perspectives and possibilities in my own life, adding depth and inspiration to our ongoing friendships.
– Vanessa Adams from Heirs General Insurance
Unfortunately, most of my close friends have japa’d so we rely heavy on video calls and messages to catch up. We try as much as possible to check on ourselves regularly giving our busy schedules. It’s kind of sad thought cause years can go by without you guys getting to see physically, you also miss out on landmark events such as weddings, birthdays etc.
– Bamise Odusina from Heirs Life
It has evolved 50% of my friendships to remote relationships. I feel like 5 out of my 10 favorite friends have japad and more will still do.
– Kofo Olabalu from Heirs General Insurance
See! I feel like everyone in Nigeria has a really close friend in a far away land at this point, it’s crazy. One moment, you’re consistently hanging out with this person physically and the next moment, you guys have not seen each other in 5 years. It has really not been easy but we try to make it work regardless.
– Precious Agu from Transcorp Power
Friendships are important outside of relationships, how do you pick the people in your circle? Who is the support system that helps you navigate life’s challenges?
I choose friends who align with my values/core principles, have a positive outlook on life, and demonstrate genuine care and understanding and people who demonstrate other qualities like kindness, empathy and are reliable. It is important for me to surround myself with people who uplift and inspire me , while also being there for them in return. My support system consists of my family and friends basically people who provide guidance and help me overcome life’s challenges.
– Vanessa Adams from Heirs General Insurance
Most of the people in my circle are people I’ve known since I was in primary or secondary school. So that’s about 20+ years of friendship.
– Bamise Odusina from Heirs Life
I have negotiable and non-negotiable personal values and anyone who comes closely into my space must align with my non-negotiable values. That’s how I choose. And I am very blessed to have the best people around me, they are my support system and a proof of God’s love for me.
– Precious Agu from Transcorp Power
Life’s so unpredictable that sometimes we form the most unlikely of friendships. What are the crazy, random scenarios that birthed an amazing friendship?
One amazing friendship that developed unexpectedly happened in an elevator with a stranger. We struck up a conversation to pass the time from the ground floor to the 4th floor and ended up discovering shared interests and values as well as a sense of humor so alike. That chance encounter led to a lasting and meaningful friendship. It is an amazing story to tell, and the depth of understanding is unmatched for a friendship that happened by chance. This unique bond serves as a reminder that friendship can be found in the most unexpected places and that embracing life’s unpredictability can lead to some of the most rewarding connections we’ll ever experience.
– Vanessa Adams from Heirs General Insurance
What’s Your Number 1 Friendship Rule?
Honesty can’t be bought, that’s the wrecking ball
‘Cause, when it hits you, that’s when the real comes on
Loyalty and yes-men go hand-in-hand…”
When it comes to friendship: honesty trumps all. Don’t get me wrong, loyalty is important, but as the great man Gilbert ‘A-Q’ Bani said on Loyalty vs Honesty, loyalty can sometimes be swayed. People can be moved by favours, gifts, or even just the draw of something new. Not that I fault it – life is difficult and tough choices must be made.
Honesty though? That’s the solid foundation of any true bond. My guys know that while I might hurt their feelings a bit, I’m always looking out for them (can I say the truth a bit nicer? Maybe, but that’s not the point right now).
And that’s what I expect of them in return—not being afraid to be straight with me. Because in the end, honesty is what builds a friendship that’s Long-Island strong (not that I’ve ever had that, but you get the point).
P.S.: I happen to be looking for new friends lol. HMU!
– Oluwatodimu Asiwaju from Heirs General Insurance
Trust
– Gloria Agugua from Heirs General Insurance
Keep your friends accountable. You should always be able to honest with your friends when they are out online and not be a yesman in every situation.
– Bamise Odusina from Heirs Life
My number 1 friendship rule is loyalty. I dive headlong into friendships and commit genuinely without any strings attached. I root completely for my friends and never feel threatened by their progress.
So, I naturally expect a similar measure of goodwill too. Loyalty is standing up for me even when I’m not there, giving constructive feedback, confronting me directly when necessary, and supporting whatever initiative I venture into. Cos I would do all of these for you.
– Theophilus Adeyinka from Heirs Life
Bro code, Girl code what are all these codes about?
The concept of codes such as the “Bro code” and “Girl code” has emerged as informal guidelines or unwritten rules that govern social behavior and relationships among friends of the same gender.
These codes are often seen as a way to promote loyalty, respect, and camaraderie within these respective groups.
The Bro code, popularized in pop culture, encapsulates principles like loyalty to fellow male friends, protecting their interests, and maintaining unwavering support.
Similarly, the Girl code embodies principles of sisterhood, including supporting and uplifting other women, respecting boundaries, and maintaining confidentiality. While these codes may vary in their specifics, they ultimately serve as social frameworks that promote understanding and solidarity among friends, reinforcing the importance of mutual respect and camaraderie.
– Gabriel Nnorom from Heirs Life
These codes are funny little commitments that people hold themselves to so they can be there for their guy or girl. Whether said guy or girl is right in a given instance or not.
Say if one of my guys is cheating on his girl, I won’t tell her. That is the commonest example. This is just an example oh.
But I don’t stand for those codes. If a friend of mine is cheating on his girl for instance I may or may not tell the girl depending on a lotttt of factors. One of the most important is the “mind your business” factor. God sees a lot of wrong in the world, yet he doesn’t simply fix everything even when we all know he can (or she can – in case you believe God is a woman).
Bottomline, is I don’t have a hero mentality and I don’t believe I should interfere with whatever comes into my awareness, good or bad. I follow my gut feeling to decide what I should interfere with and what not to.
– Precious Eli from Transcorp Hotels Calabar
Bruv! I am not even sure, “sis before bros”, “bros before sis” and all these rules are very exhausting. Although I see the point because it’s important to have these codes to guide us, but some people just go overboard with them and it becomes very annoying.
– Precious Agu from Transcorp Power
Do you believe female friendships are fragile? That women do not support each other.
Women are naturally emotional beings, and view every action or inaction from the emotional stand point. Due to this, actions in friendships are always attached with a meaning. There are times people don’t get to explain their actions in details and the other person might read a different meaning to them and take that to heart, gradually this perceptions accumulate and the friendship becomes fragile, looking for a little trigger for the friendship to break finally.
– Marvelou Idoko from Heirs Life
Female friendships are gold! When you meet the right women and have them in your circle, most of your life problems will be solved. One woman is a superhuman, now imagine four women, closely knitted, friends turn sisters. There will be no limit to what they can do together. I do not believe that women do not support women.
– Precious Agu from Transcorp Power
I do not believe women do not support women. I believe its always about the individual and not the gender. I have met really supportive women.
– Gloria Agugua from Heirs General Insurance
Everyone on social media marries their “best friend”, is your partner really your best friend?
Yes, my partner is my best friend. We talk majority of the day and when we aren’t we are texting. I believe she knows me better than I know myself and vice versa.
– Bamise Odusina from Heirs Life
My partner is my “GUY” not sure about bestie lol
– Gloria Agugua from Heirs General Insurance
Friendship is very important for relationships to thrive. Your partner must be your best friend, it’s not even negotiable. This is a person you will be spending the rest of your life on earth with. What’s going to be left when the butterflies in your stomach run away and the sparks in their eyes dim? Whilst trying to birth new butterflies and light up the sparks, friendship is what will sustain the relationship in the waiting period.
– Precious Agu from Transcorp Power
You spend most of your time at work, you probably have a work husband, wife or bestie.
Yes I do have a work bestie, even though she can be annoying!
– Bamise Odusina from Heirs Life
Well, it’s a no brainer. Like you said, we spend most of our time at work. I do have a work bestie.
– Precious Agu from Transcorp Power
Yes, I do. Because I’ve seen environments like these. I am an emotional being and could never wrap my head around sayings like: your co-workers are not your friends, and so on. Me think, considering the level of daily involvement at work, it doesn’t have to be crazy there. And many small, technology companies are doing a fantastic job at bonding.
I also think it should be an aspirational thing for team leads and managers in corporate environments to make their space friendly. Express dissatisfactions, give feedback, call out flaws, but through it all, be human. Extend warmth too.
Ultimately, friendship for me, works when participants feel understood; when you enjoy an amazing level of freedom with each other. I pick the people in my circle for their unique traits—of brilliance and excellence, of cheerfulness, poise, eloquence, beautiful braids, sincerity, potential, initiative, and laughter. Some I admire for the things I want to build myself; some I’m free with and naturally gravitate towards.
– Theophilus Adeyinka from Heirs Life
How has technology helped your respective friendships?
As mentioned earlier we rely heavy on video calls these days to keep the friendship going. Thank you, Steve Jobs!
– Bamise Odusina from Heirs Life
How has technology not helped friendships!!! With the current japa wave, the only thing we have to stay connected is technology. Technology is God’s gift to mankind.
– Precious Agu from Transcorp Power
I was a little ill recently and admitted to a hospital. But on one of those days, I spent around 5 hours on a WhatsApp call with some friends; each busy with their stuff but we teased for hours on end. So yeah, connectivity platforms like WhatsApp have been very helpful.
– Theophilus Adeyinka from Heirs Life
Technology really has helped a great deal. I think most of my friends are out of the country and with the help of technology we are able to facetime, Whatsapp and IG chat and literally keep intouch. I sometimes do not feel they are away. Infact, I even baby sit my God daughter virtually with the help of technology.
– Gloria Agugua from Heirs General Insurance
Life’s so unpredictable that sometimes we form the most unlikely of friendships. What are the crazy, random scenarios that birthed an amazing friendship?
Random but I’ve made some incredible friendships with people in the gym. #GYMBROS for the win!
– Bamise Odusina from Heirs Life
Being put on the spot does me no good lol. Now that I have been asked, I can’t think of anything. But I once went to a party for work, had no intention of meeting anyone and I met one of my now closest friends at the said event.
– Precious Agu from Transcorp Power
Covid and lock down made me make friends on Instagram that have now turned to real life friends.
– Gloria Agugua from Heirs General Insurance
How did your childhood friendships affect the way you view friendships?
I think our view of friendships stems from how we are raised. I grew up sharing the thrill of a few disobediences with my friends, and the pain of the punishment when we are caught. We laughed through it too.
From playing CD games to football, to table tennis, and risking our lives for mangoes, to cooking contributions and lying our asses off for spare cash, it was fun. There was a genuine camaraderie that I find lacking today maybe because of adulthood, responsibilities, small rooms in tall fences, and lots of travelling.
– Theophilus Adeyinka from Heirs Life
It has had a positive effect, as I view friendship as a ground to impact one another and I am weary of making friends that are not like minds. Growing up, I was very resistant to peer pressure, so I had very few friends, but more acquaintances. This has continued to affect how I view friendship.
– Kofo Olabalu from Heirs General Insurance
You know those friends who you don’t speak to for like months but when you guys connect, it’s Hashtag #LaVidaLoca and there’s no awkward tension? Those are the best kinds of friendships and I learned that from my childhood friendships. When I was still very young, I only got to see my friends when their parents brought them over or when my parents took me over to their places which could take a while sometimes, but when we hung out, it was still very much amazing. Now as an adult, I understand that everyone is busy and there’s a whole lot that we are all trying to figure out, so I hold no offence when I do not speak or see my friends for a while. It’s all love over here because I understand.
– Precious Agu from Transcorp Power
Do you find it difficult to build friendships as an adult?
Only a little. I think everyone already has a circle of influence within which they are comfortable and expanding that is a conscious investment of time and energy. I meet new people all the time, and flow very well with them, but never really could invest that time/resources to grow that.
Maintaining existing friendships is easy, but building new ones is a little demanding. Unless we’re bound by some shared interest and a common goal.
– Theophilus Adeyinka from Heirs Life
Yes, I do. I network, I meet people, but I do not have a lot of friends.
– Gloria Agugua from Heirs General Insurance
Building friendships is not difficult. I am a very intentional person, especially when it comes to my friends. I understand that we are now so busy and it’s going to take a level of intentionality to keep up… whether it’s with old friends or with meeting new people.
It’s all about being intentional.
– Precious Agu from Transcorp Power
Why do men bond over everything, even the silliest things?
Women bond over random things too. I have bonded over popsicles. Lol.
– Gloria Agugua from Heirs General Insurance
Why do people find it difficult to accept that you can have a bestie of the opposite gender with no strings attached?
Let me tell you, I really do not understand why. I am a very simple person, If I meet someone, I like them irrespective of their gender, I am going to become their friend. Life is easy.
– Precious Agu from Transcorp Power
Lol. Well, I totally believe you can have a bestie of the opposite gender. I think people’s opinions are often times formed from their life experiences.
– Gloria Agugua from Heirs General Insurance
