My daddy never liked to see me cry, “lions don’t cry, they roar” he said. Even before the age of 5, I knew I was my father’s pride. Child 6 out of 7, I can easily argue, that I am the apple of his eye, his second in command. Before you ask, yes, I stole my mum’s partner in crime. My first day in the boardroom was probably before I could talk. I’ve been accustomed to meetings from before I could walk. It was always clear I’d be a corporate girl, a leading one at that. Just a little navigation from my father and I believe, I’ve truly found my path.
The ‘Daddy’s Girl’ badge is one I’ve worn shamelessly and with honour. My father set the standard of excellence that I uphold today and Chief never failed to let me know that I could surpass them. It was enough for him to tell me, but he ensured he showed me. Chief never missed a tea party, a portfolio presentation, an award ceremony, a birthday (our birthdays are 4 days apart, cute) or fathers’ day. He never missed a sick day, never missed a single day his children deemed special. This doesn’t take away from those who did, I recognise my privilege. Chief could afford to be present, even though logistics looked impossible at times. For Chief, the world could and would wait…it still waits.
It’s the way my father knows his kids more than they know themselves and engages us accordingly. It’s the way, he’d defend and fight for us without thinking twice but scold us at home if truly, we were badly behaved so report us at your own peril. S/O to my Arabic teacher Moruf. It’s his wisdom, his belief in God, his leadership, his humour, his charitable nature, our favourite movies and the way his response to every request is “Insha Allah”. It’s his non-belief in culturally prescribed ‘gender roles’. You dare not tell me to or not to do something because “Anu you’re a girl”. His response would be “How does being a girl relate to xyz.” It got on everyone’s nerves, especially the Agony Aunties and Uncles who always failed to mind their business in their own homes.
Read this as a eulogy to my father or whatever but early on my father helped me understand that Chief’s house was different from any other house or my country as a whole. He let me know that the girl he was raising would be called bossy, forward, aggressive, intimidating and maybe just too much, but that was society telling me not to be confident, firm and ambitious. He emphasised my need to work hard for myself, be the best I can be, do well, do good, create value and leave a lasting impact everywhere I go. Chief prepared me for life because he wasn’t sure what my country would have to offer by the time I’m independent. *Chief, when you read this, just know that everything is fugazi right now bro looool!*
Chief taught me the importance of a good name. He lives every single day with the mindset that a good name is worth more than gold. Chief taught me true leadership, self-worth, vulnerability, tenacity, innovation, kindness, good wine, good food and the art of living a soft life. Chief taught me to be a fighter, to show up and show out every single day and to be unapologetically myself. Chief taught me never to take nonsense, to listen, learn and speak up. Chief taught me to be Big and Bad! Big Anu for every reason!!
Chief set me on the path of independence and though there have been many lost moments, I find myself in the sound of his voice, his teachings, values and the memories we create. I find myself in the moments he calls my name once he hears my footsteps. Alhaji knows the way I walk and it gets me in my feelings every single time. I find myself in his arms because he gives the best hugs. I find myself in his heart because his love for me is infinite. I find myself in his eyes because he sees the best in me. I find myself in his reflection because I am a spitting image of the man. I find myself in my family because we are cut from the same cloth. Chief is my father, my hero but somewhere along the lines, he also became my son. Alh. Chief MKO, is THAT guy and for him, every day is Father’s Day.
