“I do not react with ugliness to discrimination and mistreatment. It puts me at risk of neglect.”
– Antoinette Edodo
When you hear the name “Antoinette”, you think something delicate, pretty and graceful. While she is all this (you looked up at her picture again, didn’t you? It’s fine; we would too if we were you), it is no doubt to any who has eyes and ears that she is much more than this.
Like the unfurling petals of a delicate water lily, this interview was a chance to unravel the privately held thoughts of Africa Prudential’s Head of Business Transformation. What does it mean to hold such a position, nurture your mind and keep your spirits going? How does one do all this as a woman to boot!
‘You are a difficult lady to schedule meetings with.’ I mentioned, taking a seat only after she did.
Elegantly she looked up and broke into a smile. ‘It’s how it is when it comes to work, right?’
I nodded in agreement. She was gracious to have given us the time. Even more so because she is one AP executive that handles practically two roles in one.
I think at this point, I should introduce you readers to the characters of this story properly. There is me, a communications expert and your narrator; I am of no impact in this story. Then there is Antoinette, the Head of Business Transformation, acting Chief Product Officer, and the subject of AP’s interview piece for HHPeople’s April issue.
‘So, when you first heard the topic, what was the first thing that came to mind?’
‘Survival! Of the fittest!’
‘Are we saying AP specifically or just life generally?’
‘Who says life isn’t work?’ She leaned forward, her passion coming to bear in the subtlest yet present way, ‘I can’t separate them, really. Everything is life; work is life, play is life, everything. Because what happens in your private life usually seeps into work and what happens in work usually seeps into your personal/private life.’
‘True… then let’s get into the questions. First, how do you preserve yourself and your environment?’
‘It’s just about keeping things authentic. I simply stay genuine about who I am at work and in other aspects of my life. I hold sacred the things I work around and the places I reside in. And my hope is that as I preserve myself, these places are preserved and vice versa.’
The logic there is so real, it is shocking that it is not that obvious. It is easier quite frankly, to keep to your truest self than to hold multiple versions of yourself per situation. She had me rethinking what it means “to be”.
‘So, what would you say your care/wellness routine to be? Quick side note for context though. I have noticed that you are very particular about in-state experiences. A good scenario is how you have this set of cutleries, complete with a very cool set of china.’
She broke into laughter and nodded very fondly, ‘Oh I do!’
‘Is it safe to say that this is one of your wellness routines?’
‘So, I work in a high pressure, high impact department, strategically for Africa Prudential. This finds me in multiple moments and situations that I try as much as possible to experience. So, I don’t like eating out of a bowl; if I’m gonna have lunch, I want to enjoy the moment and fully immerse myself, enjoyably.’
‘Understandably so. Any other routine?’
‘I don’t like the word “Routine” but I think it is important for life and living to have some sort of semblance of order, you will need to have a kind of monotony. Personally, I have an innate ability to know what I need and when I need it. However, I have had to fine-tune this ability. What would I say the routine is though? Some days, it could be deep breaths. On other days, it could be looking up into the sky and I take it very seriously. I know I sound like a hippie now but it is about extrapolating yourself from uncomfortable situations to really get clarity.’
‘This sounds very simple yet freeing.’
‘Right! On other days I could want to do a full yoga session, sleep or walking bare feet in the sand or nature, or music. It really depends on what is going on. But knowing that it comes in different shapes or sizes, it simply can’t be a routine. All that comes together as a wellness routine. The most important part of that is identifying what it means to you and how you want it.’
‘What does wellness mean to you? I know you had already started to answer this, so I will refine it a bit. How do you know when what you think works, actually works?’
‘Oh, that requires a lot, intuitively.’
‘Instincts?’
‘Yes! You start with a bit of chaos, or restlessness and then you feel it! Whatever it is, it starts with a deficiency of some sort and then you know it is working bemuse this feeling fades away. You are feeling lighter, you find it easier to smile, or laugh. Basically, you feel it.’
The tone and the candace of her eloquent delivery only showcased how absolute her understanding of this was. It was clear that this was tested and trusted; there was no doubt in her mind or mine.
‘Have you ever had a mental or emotional breakdown? And how do you deal with it?’
‘Oh, who hasn’t?!’
‘I haven’t.’
‘Really?’ Leaning back, she stared at me knowingly, ‘Maybe you have but you didn’t register it.’
‘Maybe I didn’t. So mental or emotional breakdown?’
‘Emotional. I have had moments of life experiences that caused this; the loss of a loved one or even a pet. I have never had a mental breakdown. And how do I deal with this? I write a lot and this reminds me of a short piece I once wrote. I realised that it is my “superpower’ where I don’t allow an outside ugliness to contaminate my inside beauty. I simply acknowledge that I have absolute control over how I can respond or react to the situation. No one can make me react in a way I do not want to.’
‘Just that?’
‘Well, there is also the other misconception where we take on responsibilities that are not our own. A lot of time, it is really them and not about you and you are thinking “why did you do this to me”. Most times, this person is selfishly trying to protect themselves and you may simply be collateral damage. I really try not to take any of these kinds of situations too personally. I do not react with ugliness to discrimination and mistreatment. It puts me at risk of neglect. I simply need to learn to uproot and replant myself deeper, where love shines. And when it is out of my control, I simply remind myself that it is okay not to be okay.
‘Would you say this played a major factor in how you reflect and grow?’
‘Yes, definitely. I like to say the reason our ears and eyes come in pairs is because we are to do a lot of silent observations. That is a lot we are taking already that it is only fair to give. I have two mantras in life; #GiveValueFirst and #GrowthObsessed. I strongly believe that for us to avoid being resentful or bitter, and to protect ourselves mentally, we must always have a disposition of growth. If you are going to enjoy your time on earth, you must be open to learning new things all the time. By understanding that I know that I have value to give, it helps set me up to freely give value. It is my process of reflection that puts me in a constant state of generosity, regardless of how you behave. With this mantra, I am always set to let go, regardless of the wrong; hence I am always growing. My disposition of learning from younger people removes any limitations I have from learning from anyone, anywhere.’
‘Irrespective of how young?’
‘Yes! I like to surround myself with that youthful spirit, be you old or young. The profile of people I stick around are those who are faithful, youthful and modest with what they know.’
‘This seems to speak perfectly to your passions. Care to share?’
‘You are right! My passion projects revolve around pouring knowledge and experience into people and watching them grow. I believe in showing people that it is possible by being an example. I walk the talk. To care for myself, I see myself caring for someone else; where there is an exchange of value. These are passion projects for me, and every interaction I have is in line with this. Quite frankly, when I chase after this purpose, I find a fulfilling form of self-care while creating what I call Social Impact for Profit or Impact-Focused Profit.’
‘So, impact always comes first. Reminds me of a LinkedIn post from The Venture Park that nominated you as one of the 50 Female Leaders in Innovation and Technology. Your response was focused on mentoring and giving value. It is very clear that you align with these mantras.’
‘Yeah! For me, I believe that impact comes first. At the end of the day, no one remembers the salary or money. They will remember how you made them feel! I have a massive network of professionals that I have immense respect for that if they asked something of me, I try my very best to meet that demand and vice versa.’
She closed out the conversation with a quote; the same one at the top of this article, in a poetic full 360 showing the cycle of growth and recharge.
