A babyface amongst veterans best describes my work situation. At times I feel a little small being the youngest in the room but most times, I feel special because I get to grow into big shoes whilst learning first-hand from experts who have walked this path before me. Though, it doesn’t take away the fact that my age cannot show in my work. Between imposter syndrome and unlimited vibes, I find my balance, breaking bread over Rosalita’s pastries with my pool office crew.
Working in MCC looks cool because you get to be everywhere, but that’s the hard part; you have to be everywhere. I still look cool regardless, because I walk around as though I own the place and I’m as calm as still waters. I remain unphased by hurdles and that’s because my juju gets me through the day. Every morning I make a mental map of my day’s agenda, one that I barely follow, but you get the point. Some mornings, my ideas flow easily. On other mornings it gets fuzzy up there. As my colleagues focus on their deliverables, I focus on my brief walk down Glover Road to Rosalita’s.
Call me unserious, but thinking is a struggle when the room feels tough, and my mind is fixated on an unshakable goal. The pressure I place on myself to deliver becomes a distraction as opposed to motivation, pastries become my succour, helping to break that chain of thought. There’s something about worrying about fresh meatpies when your colleagues are neck-deep in strategy meetings. Bite after bite into a signature ginger cookie, I bid my anxiety goodbye. All eyes on me because this little girl is certainly not normal, I love it!
Over the course of 5 months, I have inducted my colleagues into the school of morning pastries and vibes. My juju worked for me so maybe it just might work for them.
My juju turned my frown upside down and my anxiety into excitement. The deliciousness of the menu also helped. My ideas flow easily once I have pastries and best believe I needed my juju to write this very piece. With my juju, my vibometer goes up a notch and let’s just say I’m pretty good at breaking very cold ice. I become the mood enhancer and humour provider to others because the result of my juju is infectious.
Beneath it all, I know first-hand that all we need to get through the day is a fix so when I found it, I felt unstoppable … until my stomach stopped fitting in my clothes. Weight gain was a predictable side effect I didn’t plan for. I never thought I’d care but the more weight I gained, the more it affected my behaviour. I could not pass by a reflective surface without staring at myself for a long minute. I had to ditch my juju for a while and hope that the vibes will kick in. It was difficult, but I wanted to fit in my clothes again because I wasn’t about to change my whole wardrobe. After over a month of deceiving myself at the gym and stripping my diet, I no longer struggle with my clothes as much and I use my juju less often. The results are the same and possibly even better because I realised that my real juju has been inside of me all along.
When you find your juju, share it. Sharing mine helped me survive my juju-less days because the joy my colleagues got from Rosalita’s was infectious and in turn, I fed off their energy. Getting through the day simply because I have the best team allowed me to look inwards and get over whatever doubt I had in myself. Juju or no juju, I remain the vibe.
And on that note, I’d have a Jamaican Beef Patty, please!
Interesting!