A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest — and poverty will come on you like a thief and scarcity like an armed man. Proverbs 24: 33-34
When I got the privilege to write this article, I was combating my personal ‘angels’ going through many changes in my life, which has indeed been therapeutic. One of the last inspiring things my dad said to me was based on a feat I had achieved at the time. He said if anyone could have done this, he knew it would be me. Since then, I had worked, fought, laboured to maintain this status quo. Do not get me wrong; the journey has not been easy. Sometimes, you need several cheerleaders and several warm shoulders to cry on, and then you pick yourself up and move on.
Growing up, I was the last of 3 kids to a military dad and a civil servant/business ‘hustler’ mother. My dad was hardly around due to his job’s nature, which made my mum the sole parent growing up. I was amazed at her strength, drive and tenacity. Not once, did we feel my dad’s absence, as she taught us to be strong and independent. My mum ran several businesses from tailoring, business centre, boutique, hair salon, supermarket, contractor to several companies while being a civil servant. She taught me that I could do it all even as a woman.
My dad, on the other hand, was the first male feminist I had ever known. He taught me to have my own voice and opinions, and from the age of 6, he would always hammer that all I owed him was a PhD, not a house or car. He was hands-on when he was around and related with us as peers and equals. My parents never imposed their beliefs or preferred courses but allowed us the freedom to be what we wanted to be. As a child, my ambitions changed ever so often, but I did not feel any pressure for once to be anything other than my authentic self.
As a child, I was very strategic in my planning and expenditure. I never spent my monthly allowance on frivolities rather on essential goals I had planned to attain. When I wanted to type better in my Business studies class, I saved for a whole year to buy a typewriter. When I tried to learn how to bake, I saved for my own baking tools. When I needed to go back to school looking smart, I saved for new sets of uniform. From a young age, I learned to set short-term and long-term goals for myself, stay on a steady course and achieve them.
This mindset and determination made me take up a buying and selling business while I was in university, though, my family was fending for me just because I needed by financial independence. Amidst all this, I was able to graduate with a 2.1 at the top of my class. This was replicated when I went to the United Kingdom for my masters, every insurmountable obstacle, I faced head-on and triumphed, again, excelling with a distinction.
Venturing into Human Resources has been a steep and laborious journey with its many pitfalls, and I have been pleasantly surprised by the number of hats I have had to wear in my over 12 years of practice. In every workplace I get into, I stumble, acclimatise, and continue the race. I take challenges heads on and accept my limitation in humility in a bid to grow, learn and come back stronger. As a wife to a military officer and a mother to two amazing children, I see life through the lens my mum did several years ago, but I am not relenting because I had a good foundation.
Some of my best movies growing up was the Rocky franchise. I loved how Sylvester Stallone had to stumble, train, retrain (depending on his opponent’s style) and get back in the ring. I watched in glee as Rocky was at the receiving end of punch after punch and always getting back up. This, to me, indeed shows the journey of life. Abraham Lincoln is the definition of persistence. He suffered a steady stream of failure and defeat till he came the President of the United States of America. This shows that the journey does not always have to be smooth, but what you do when you fall is the most important part of your story.
In all this, you need to find a happy medium to balance it all. Harold Kushner said, “No one ever said on their deathbed ‘I wish I’d spent more time at the office”. For this purpose, the goal is to work towards having a full successful life. Push yourself beyond the limits to achieve your dreams and make time to smell the coffee and appreciate all you have attained.
My dreams of having it all, my God, family, a successful career, and its rewards are still there. I will achieve my PhD aspirations in the nearest future, but until then, I continue to face each challenge that comes my way head-on, with the mindset that it’s achievable, it can be surpassed.
