In 2010, I was doing my NYSC in a place called Ukanafun, in Akwa Ibom. Initially, I got posted to the Local Government Secretariat where there was nothing to do, so I volunteered to teach in a village called Ikot Oku Usung. There was barely any electricity or cellphone reception. In a place where you can only communicate in English to people who would rather speak Anang, you were as good as alone.
In the end, I became really good at keeping my own company.
Whenever I get to go on leave, my colleagues ask, “Where are you going to go?” My answer is always the same, “Nowhere.” So for whatever length of time, I get to be off work, 80% of my time got spent indoors. Simply put, it’s like I had been training for this quarantine all along.
So when I got the prompt for this month, I felt a little bit guilty. I did not have something that would fit into the ‘making lemonade’ narrative because I’m having a blast. No need to dress up or undergo the punishment of combing my hair? That’s awesome! It’s like on a typical day; I need a compelling reason to leave my house – hunger, which is what would happen if I don’t go to work. Now, I have a very compelling reason to sit my ass at home.
Isn’t that bliss?
Not really. I mean, it’s been okay for me and all, but we’re talking about a global pandemic here. People are falling sick and dying out there in thousands and while we don’t yet have a New York scale event on our hands (God forbid), it’s still scary as heck. Even if I’m not worried for myself, I’ve got friends out there, family, colleagues, etc. Some of them have to risk their wellbeing daily because they work in essential services like healthcare. As much as I would like to enjoy my little island with a population of one, the reality is that I’m not the 2020 version of Robinson Crusoe.
Whichever way we want to see it, the truth is that the Rona affects us all.
This means that I have to contend with a certain level of anxiety. Are my people okay? Are they safe? Do they have enough? That kind of stuff.
But in all of this, one benefit of being by yourself is that you have ample time for introspection. My friends say this is bad for me because I tend to overthink. Still, I tell them you can never really overthink, you can only really think badly (hello anxiety again). The thing is, when your thoughts dwell on the positive, you mostly end up in the territory of gratitude.
For instance, have we ever thought about how critical people in specific jobs are? The grocery store salesperson, petrol attendant, market women, garbage disposal guys, etc. Imagine life indoors without these guys supporting us with our daily or weekly needs?
So I’m thankful that I can still work (if not, for all the mouth I’m making, I’d probably have lost my mind). I’m grateful my loved ones are mostly safe. I get constant joy that while my physical movement mainly consists of brief romantic walks to the fridge, I can still be of use at my job and people out there.
But enough about me. This has also been a difficult period for a lot of people I know, and I’ve noticed how easy it is to fall into that trap where we let our struggles define us. Take it easy on yourself. Nobody knew we’d be home for a month trying to get work done while still marshalling kids. Nobody knew they’d have to postpone or cancel key life moments? My point is that we’re all in uncharted territory and everyone is just doing the best they can so be kinder to yourself. This too, shall pass.
PS: When are we going to talk about how working from home is a… [Redacted]. I would say more, but I love my job so…. Bye!
